The Complexities of Language, Gender, and Identity

gender

I’ve been finding that the diverse language already available to describe one’s gender identity still doesn’t quite fit with how I perceive and wish to express myself. Even the very concept of gender identity is a bit uncomfortable for me because gender is a power hierarchy. It places men above women, and people who successfully conform to the gender binary above those who cannot or will not do so. I can acknowledge where I fall in the hierarchy – I believe doing so is a first step toward changing the system to be more egalitarian – but I feel disinclined to identify with “my place” in it. How can I do that, when I believe it shouldn’t even exist? (I suppose the same differentiation can be applied to other social/power hierarchies such as class and race.)

The term “gender identity” also assumes that it is possible for one to have an innate sense of oneself that is not shaped by outside forces (i.e. culture). We identify with what we know, and what we know is our culture. Ozy Frantz argues that many people simply identify the way they are raised, allowing their self-perception to be shaped by culture and never questioning it.

girl-or-boy-predictions

The child hasn’t even been born yet and is already being put in a box!

I would argue that even someone who does not identify the way hir culture dictates ze should builds some part of hir identity upon not conforming. If I say I am queer or gender-fluid, I am saying that I do not fit into the gender binary – a concept of myself I would not even need to have if it were not for the influence of culture: people treating and expecting me to behave a certain way based on their perception of my biological sex. Someone who is transgendered and/or transsexual might not identify as trans (e.g. trans-woman), but hir self-perception is shaped by cultural norms for the gender/sex ze identifies as (e.g. woman).

300px-Woman_Montage_(1)

multicultural images of women

Speaking of the term, “woman,” what does it refer to, anyway? Is a woman:

  • a person who was born with ovaries, fallopian tubes, a uterus, a vagina, labia, a clitoris, and mammary glands capable of developing and lactating if/when she becomes pregnant?
  • a person who menstruates?
  • a person who perceives her body as female and believes it should have some or all of the above parts, whether she was born with them or not?
  • a person who values and actively conforms to the norms associated with females in her culture?
  • a person whom others perceive as female, treat accordingly, and expect to behave a certain way?
  • a person who is or wants to become a mother?
  • a person who falls lower on the gender hierarchy (than a man)?

Of course, I’ve had to rely on other culturally-laden terms in order to compose the above definitions. The term “female” is part of another cultural binary – sex – which assumes human bodies generally take one of two forms, complete with specific anatomical features, hormones, chromosomes, etc. The term “mother” is also complex and becomes even more so when one considers reproductive technologies. picasso_mother_and_child_1905_Is a mother:

  • the person whose egg is fertilized to create a new human?
  • the person who becomes pregnant with and gives birth to this new human?
  • the person who provides and cares for this new human?

Of course, for both “woman” and “mother,” the answer can be any or all of the above (or something else); these definitions need not be exclusive. We don’t even need to agree on which definitions to include! That’s actually the point I’m trying to make here: these terms are so complex, they can be applied to a wide range of individuals who are more different from each other than they are similar. For many if not most cases, only some of the definitions will be accurate.

A similar analysis can be applied to the terms “man” and “father” as well. Conflicting concepts of masculinity add to the complexity of such an analysis.

Creating A New Vocabulary

I have come to the conclusion that the best way for me to be able to explain my understanding of myself (as an embodied individual whose body has cultural meaning and socioeconomic repercussions) is to make up new words and define them precisely the way I want to.

Noun or Adjective?

One thing I find interesting about the terms above – “woman,” “mother,” “man,” and “father” – is that they are all nouns. Terms used to classify people along other aspects of identity such as race, class, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, ability/disability, education level, etc. are often adjectives – or, one has the option of using either an adjective or a noun. When it comes to gender, the terms are nouns – except that “woman” is sometimes used as an adjective, e.g. “woman president;” you would never hear of someone being called a “man president.”

Using a noun to classify someone seems to imply that that dimension of hir self is more important, innate, or central than the other dimensions. Your race, age, etc. might describe you, but your gender defines you. Frankly, I see no reason why gender should be any more important than any other aspect of someone’s identity, or where ze falls in various socioeconomic/power hierarchies. For many people, it’s not.

My New Adjectives

  • mamutva reproductive system

    mamuva reproductive system

    mamuva – naturally possessing functional mammary glands, a uterus, a vagina, ovaries, etc.; may or may not menstruate (depending on age, weight, etc.)

  • mamuva’ididentifies as mamuva, whether hir body conforms to the definition or not
  • mamvanormal – values and actively conforms to the norms associated with being mamuva and/or mamuva’id in hir culture, including dress, mannerisms, etc.
  • mamvaseen – perceived by others as mamuva; treated, addressed, described, and expected to behave according to the relevant cultural norms
  • pentestum reproductive system

    pentestum reproductive system

    pentestum – naturally possessing a penis, testes, scrotum, etc.

  • pentestum’ididentifies as pentestum, whether hir body conforms to the definition or not
  • pentumnormal – values and actively conforms to the norms associated with being pentestum and/or pentestum’id in hir culture, including dress, mannerisms, etc.
  • pentumseen – perceived by others as pentestum; treated, addressed, described, and expected to behave according to the relevant cultural norms

Describing Myself

Now that I have some new adjectives to use, I can better describe myself. I am a person who happens to be mamuva and is usually mamuva’id; I am happy with my body the way it is and take pleasure in it – both through currently-available experiences and when thinking about its potential to grow and nurture another human being. Sometimes I feel pentestum’id and wish I could (temporarily) morph my body to match. I do not consider myself to be particularly mamvanormal or pentumnormal. Perhaps I am somewhere in between, choosing which norms I’m comfortable with at a given moment and attempting to ignore the rest.

If I experience gender-related dysphoria, it is not because of my body. It is my response to being mamvaseen and particularly to the expectation that I am or should be mamvanormal. I actively reject many if not most of the norms associated with being mamuva in my culture because they would limit me to a decorative, nurturing, and supportive role in society – while also making it easier for me to fall victim to predators and to believe I deserved to be victimized. No thank you!

sexism-picture

legs on display, unprotected, in high heels that make it difficult to run away – all part of the daily grind

I would much rather be seen as a person, an equal, someone who can do whatever ze wishes with hir life. I refuse to be placed in a subordinate position in a hierarchy that should not even exist in the first place.

Which brings us to the term “woman” one last time. I do not identify with that term as a means of describing a person physically, psychologically, or hierarchically. But I can identify with women as a political group – a group of people who have been systematically oppressed, devalued, etc. in diverse cultures for millenia. They have not been passive victims by any means – they have always worked to live the most personally-fulfilling, meaningful, and at times world-shaping lives possible within the constraints placed on them by society. And we continue to do so, building on the progress toward equality made by our mothers (and fathers), grandmothers (and grandfathers), great-grandmothers (and great-grandfathers), etc.

A1SGQ7DCEAAy-Mq.jpg large

sometimes we have to make the same progress over and over and over again

Moving Forward

The adjectives I created are intended to be mutually-inclusive; you can combine them with each other and with other adjectives (e.g. intersex, queer, etc.) however you see fit. That said, the list is nowhere near exhaustive. If you think of an adjective that should be on the list but isn’t, please let me know in comments!

How would you use these terms and others to describe yourself? I’d love to read about it in comments. Or, if you’re inspired to write your own post about it, please link back to this one. The pingback will allow me and other readers to go read and comment on your post. I hope we can spark a conversation about this topic that can go far beyond my blog.

Guest Post by Fox: Masculinity, Tools of Violence, and Embracing Femininity

Ziya touched on gun violence briefly, and in the weeks since Sandy Hook a whole lot has been said about it and the issue of gun control itself. I’m sure most people have heard enough speculation about Sandy Hook, so I’m going to stick to a matter that perhaps has not been touched on enough – one of the key reasons why the gun control fight has been so hard.

There seems to be, in the American psyche at least, an inherent bond between traditional masculinity and the desire to own/use at least one gun. And for many of these men, the more guns they own (and the more powerful they are), the more manly they feel. I have to imagine this is part of the appeal of hunting, and one of the reasons shooting ranges exist in the first place. And this is a lesson that men learn from an early age – from the moment they are exposed to the flashy duels of westerns or the massive fire fights of many action films and shows, as well as the ads for kid safe guns (like Nerf products).

Certainly, I recognize the other reasons for wanting to own a gun. The ability to defend one’s self and one’s family, especially from a distance, has to be a powerful incentive (particularly since we, as men, are taught that we need to protect our families). But I believe that the gun ownership drive is merely one example of the greater lesson society teaches to men.

That lesson is this: Men are socialized to be comfortable with, and even like, violence and aggression. This includes socialization toward the tools that get used in violent and aggressive acts: fists, bats, hammers, knives, guns, etc. Sure, bats are a critical tool for baseball; just like knives and hammers have their own, non-violent uses. But we don’t often glorify these uses for boys and men. Instead, we show just how much damage these items can do to someone who threatens us. And for the male who has been fed this version of masculinity, any attempt at controlling these urges very much feels like an attack. The perceived aggression begets more aggression, and the cycle promises to never stop.

I myself am no stranger to this sort of socialization. I own a few Nerf guns, and will admit to some curiosity towards learning to shoot a pistol. But unlike many American men, I’ve always seemed to favor the melee items – knives, swords, axes, and other medieval weapons. Even my choice of ranged weaponry (the one I’d love to learn the most), is the long bow. When I was younger, I used to design cool looking swords and axes, with all sorts of interesting blade and hilt shapes. I still have the pictures somewhere of those designs too; one of those designs I was even able to have made in wood to complete a Halloween costume.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve played a number of LARPs (Live Action Role Plays – one of which I helped write), sparred with friends and Ziya (using bokken, foam weapons, and even high-quality light sabers), and I’ve even built up a small knife and sword collection (some meant solely for costuming, and others that can actually be used). So I can understand the weapon collecting many men do. Aside from the actual metal blades, I have a small personal armory of foam and training pieces, too.

But I consider myself different from many men, even though I very much identify as one.

Why? Partially, it’s because I know the difference between fantasy and reality, and so as much as I might fantasize about life in the (albeit romanticized) medieval era, I know that attempting to live that way in the main of life is foolish. Partially, it’s because I was taught how to solve problems through discussion and compromise.

But mostly, it’s because I was never fully socialized into traditional masculine culture. I’ve been surrounded by strong feminine influences; my mother, sister, aunts, and grandmothers are all strong women. So the interdependent, in control, proud woman model that scares so many men today is the norm for me.

I was never taught by my parents that boys couldn’t cry, and I was never talked out of interests that society deems feminine. Nor was my sister ever forced to conform to traditional gender norms. So, I suppose one could say that I am not a man in the traditional American sense of the word.

That’s okay with me though. I wouldn’t want to conform to those norms anyway – from where I’m “standing” they seem like a rather restrictive cage. I rather enjoy the freedom to be who I am, not who society thinks I should be. I thoroughly believe that the more “masculine” aspects of my personality are tempered by the “feminine” ones – allowing me to be a more balanced individual; not another man whose hyper-concentrated masculinity is butting heads with a world that cannot support it anymore.

I sincerely believe that men everywhere would be better off living in a world where there is not just one way to be a man, and where both the “masculine” and “feminine” can happily live at peace in one person.

First Feminine Friday … erm, Saturday: What is Femininity?

On Friday I thought I was going to my mom’s to confirm the pattern I wanted the contractor to make with the tiles and accent pieces in the kitchen, then maybe having lunch, and heading home “not too late.” Instead I stayed until it was almost midnight! So, my apologies for this late post.

We ended up moving stuff (including heavy furniture!) all over the house, revising my plan for how to arrange a couple of rooms, creating our own pattern with the tiles and accent pieces, leaving a note to explain that pattern is what we want in a specific area, talking, laughing, and being quite silly. We agreed while talking about politics (that’s at best a very rare occurrence). I even dusted! (something I usually hate and almost never do). There were a few times when she seemed stressed or uncertain about a decision when I found myself going into “problem solver and supporter mode” and feeling masculine. But, otherwise, I felt very feminine.

It’s hard to get more girly than making patterns with tiles, getting rid of things you think are ugly because you don’t trust the contractor not to put them on your wall, and giggling with your mom. But I’ll be the first to admit I’m not really an expert on femininity; to be honest most of the time when I’m around feminine women I just feel very out-of-place and confused. So, I thought it might be better to look at what different people around the Internet have to say about femininity …

The first definition of “feminine” in the Urban Dictionary is basically “whatever a woman does.” I like that definition, and I’ll explain why. It follows logically that a possible definition of “masculine” is “whatever a man does.” Since most behaviors are shared by humans regardless of gender (e.g. eating, sleeping, fornicating, answering the call of nature, using a phone, blogging, playing video games, watching TV, shopping, care giving, arguing, compromising, exercising, listening to music, cooking, reading, etc.), then most behaviors are both masculine and feminine. We just decide that behaviors we see women doing are feminine; we’d call the same behaviors masculine if we saw men doing them. If I do these behaviors, does that make them queer?

Other definitions on the same page (link above) include the terms: understanding, empathetic, sensitive, submissive, gentle, modest, willowy, pretty, nurturing, demure, playing with Barbies, watching romantic movies, swaying hips while walking, sweet, inoffensive, passive, and (I’m paraphrasing here) intellectually challenged. One definition points out that women can be strong, direct, and independent.

Erm, okay, so how do I pull all that off? Well, wikiHow has advice for How to Be Feminine. The article is worth a read; for the most part it gives a positive view of femininity and some suggestions that could be fun to try. Some of them include: recreating the conditions of times when you felt feminine, loving your body (including curves), being graceful, dancing, being playful, making yourself look good by wearing certain types of clothes and (optionally) makeup, and being confident. I like the focus on enacting positivity toward yourself, no need for perfectionism, and finding what fits you (literally). I’m not crazy about the images in the article because all of the women in them are young, light-skinned, and relatively thin. I’d be happier if more diverse ages, skin tones, and body shapes & sizes were represented.

Caroline Turner describes leadership styles that can be described as feminine in her article, Can ‘Feminine’ Women Make It To the Top? They include a focus on relationships and community in the workplace, egalitarianism, collaboration, focus on process and synthesizing input from different people to make decisions, persuading instead of commanding, and sharing. These strategies are used effectively by both women and men. In feminine leadership styles, there seems to be more of a focus on collective effort and success, rather than on individual competition to rise to the top and lead through force or dominance.

Finally, the TV Tropes Gender Dynamics Index provides an overview of how gender is portrayed in fiction. Such portrayal not only reveals cultural perceptions of femininity (and masculinity), but also shapes them.

Female characters are objectified, reactive, relational, and motivational. Their value is based on passive attributes such as physical sex, appearance, vulnerability, and chastity. What they are is more important than what they do. Their reactions to other characters, locations, events, etc. are used to engage the audience emotionally and indicate how the audience should feel about these things. They gain significance based on their relationships to others (especially men and family), rather than their own actions & merit. Family is the most important thing for women and they’ll sacrifice pretty much everything for it. Female characters exist to motivate other (male) characters.

According to this portrayal, femininity is about being passive support for men. Support for their actions, their ego, their sexual fantasies, their success. Not one’s own. This is the message people are internalizing every day.

I’d much rather join in World Femininity Day and be fabulous.

And visit Miss Representation.org to learn about how misrepresentation of women in the media hurts us all (yes, including men) – as well as what people can do about it!

How would you define “feminine” and “femininity”?

When do you feel the most feminine? Is there anything you do intentionally to feel or be more feminine?

What are your thoughts regarding portrayal of women and femininity in the media?

Do you have any questions about this post? Ask away! Anything you disagree with? I’d love to hear from you!

Challenging Cultural Assumptions About Sex and Gender – Part 1

For easier reference, I’m re-posting the previous post‘s list of assumptions that are generally taken for granted in American (and other) culture(s):

  • There are two biological sexes, male (penis) and female (vagina). All humans fit into one of these two categories.
  • Social roles and behaviors, attributes and capabilities, interests, etc. are determined or at least heavily influenced by biological sex. In other words, males naturally adhere to a set of norms considered “masculine” and females to a set of norms considered “feminine.”
  • Masculinity is inherently better than femininity. It is acceptable and even necessary for a woman or girl to exhibit some masculinity, as long as she ultimately remains “in her place” as a proper female (sex object and caregiver). Men and boys are severely limited in the amount of femininity they may exhibit; an effeminate male is the greatest offense against mankind.
  • Males must be sexually attracted to females and vice-verse. It is very important for a man to be successful sexually (as well as in other areas) and for a woman to be in a long-term monogamous relationship with a man. Pursuit of these goals is a key factor in social interactions, especially between the sexes.

But in reality …

Biological Sex

Biologists have found that sex cannot be accurately understood exclusively in terms of someone being “male” or “female.” Sex is fluid and can even change over time based on an individual’s experiences.

There are a variety of factors that influence a person’s biological sex, including chromosomes (genetics, X & Y), hormones (testosterone vs estrogen), prenatal influences, and changes in one’s anatomy. The sex chromosomes can take on more than two possible configurations. Relative hormone levels vary among individuals. Sometimes a baby is born with genitals that cannot easily be labeled as “male” (penis & scrotum) or “female” (labia, clitoris, vagina). Combinations of these factors may influence an individual to identify as “intersex.” I have even watched a film in which an individual shared the experience of being neuter (no genitals).

Therefore, an accurate understanding of biological sex needs to go beyond putting people into one of two mutually-exclusive categories.

Gender Identity and Expression

People vary greatly in their gender identity and expression – the gender they perceive themselves to be and how they dress, act, etc. to communicate that to others. All people act in ways that can be labeled “masculine” or “feminine” to varying degrees; no one is exclusively masculine or feminine. Our systems based on assumptions about sex and gender limit the ability of gender-nonconforming and non-heterosexual people to participate fully and feel respected as equals in society.

Even people who “play by the rules” – that is, according to the assumptions listed at the beginning of this post – are limited by gender norms in their ability to: express themselves fully; develop their full range of abilities; effectively address intra- and interpersonal problems; avoid being perpetrators and/or victims of violence; have genuine relationships with other people; and contribute to positive political, legal, economic, and social change.

Therefore, I believe everyone can benefit from an expanded understanding of gender that takes into consideration and normalizes the experiences of people with diverse sexes, gender identities, and sexual orientations. (Please note that gender and sexual orientation are two different things; a person with any gender identity may be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, etc.)

Some variations are listed below:

Cisgender individuals identify as the biological sex and gender they were assigned at birth.

Transgender individuals challenge cultural assumptions about gender in a variety of ways:

  • Transsexual individuals identify as men and women, but their gender identity is the opposite of the sex and gender assigned to them at birth. They often use hormone therapy and may undergo surgery to make their physical bodies (biological sex) conform to their gender identity.
    • A trans man was born with a vagina and raised female, but identifies as male.
    • trans woman was born with a penis and raised male, but identifies as female.
  • Gender queer individuals are diverse and may or may not identify as men or women. Some prefer to be identified as a third gender, while others would rather avoid labels entirely. Some gender queer individuals prefer to be referred to using the gender-neutral pronouns ze, zir, and hir.
    • An androgynous person consistently exhibits both masculine and feminine characteristics in approximately equal proportions.
    • A gender fluid person experiences change in hir gender identity and expression, depending on the situation ze is currently in.
    • Similarly, a bi gender person alternates between a masculine gender identity and a separate, feminine one. It is also possible to be trigender or pangender.
    • Gender queer individuals who identify as men or women do not conform completely to the expectations for their gender. They may be flexible in their gender roles and expression.

Transvestites identify with the gender they were assigned at birth and that matches their biological sex, but sometimes dress in clothes associated with the opposite gender.

Gender and Sexual Orientation

Some lesbian women exhibit more masculine traits than are generally expected of women. This does not mean that all lesbian women are masculine, nor that all masculine women are lesbians.

Similarly, some gay men exhibit more feminine traits than are typically expected of men. This does not mean that all gay men are feminine, nor that all feminine men are gay.

Masculinity vs Femininity & Sexuality will be addressed in Part 2.

References

Kelly, S., Parameswaran, G., & Schniedewind, N. (2012). Women: Images and Realities: A Multicultural Anthology (5th ed.). New Yoark: McGraw Hill.

Sedgwick, E.K. (1991). How to bring your kids up gay: The war on effeminate boys. Social Text, 29, 18-27. [PDF]

Teich, N.M. (2012 April 18). Transgender 101: 15 things to know. The Huffington Post.

Wikipedia

Gender Bender January 2013: Challenging the Gender Binary

genbenjanDuring the Fall 2012 semester I took two very eye-opening courses: “Introduction to Women’s & Gender Studies” and “Introduction to Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, & Queer (LGBTQ) Studies.” Between these two courses, I became much more aware of assumptions that are generally taken for granted in American (and other) culture(s):

  • There are two biological sexes, male (penis) and female (vagina). All humans fit into one of these two categories.
  • Social roles and behaviors, attributes and capabilities, interests, etc. are determined or at least heavily influenced by biological sex. In other words, males naturally adhere to a set of norms considered “masculine” and females to a set of norms considered “feminine.”
  • Masculinity is inherently better than femininity. It is acceptable and even necessary for a woman or girl to exhibit some masculinity, as long as she ultimately remains “in her place” as a proper female (sex object and caregiver). Men and boys are severely limited in the amount of femininity they may exhibit; an effeminate male is the greatest offense against mankind.
  • Males must be sexually attracted to females and vice-verse. It is very important for a man to be successful sexually (as well as in other areas) and for a woman to be in a long-term monogamous relationship with a man. Pursuit of these goals is a key factor in social interactions, especially between the sexes.

These assumptions are central to how people raise their children; they influence parents’ plans and expectations before the mother even becomes pregnant! They shape our interactions in school, the workplace, at home, and in everyday life. They’re in every form of media – from movies and TV, to music, to video games, to social networking that require one to select “male” or “female” on a form in order to register, and beyond.

Advertising. Clothes and hygiene products. Housing in institutionalized settings (e.g. colleges, prisons). Public restrooms. Employment. Healthcare. Laws and social institutions. All aspects of our lives are at least partially governed by assumptions about sex, gender, and sexuality.

On the surface, the gender binary seems to work for most people. They are heterosexual and/or identify as the sex and gender they were assigned at birth. They believe that the assumptions listed above are true, at least to some degree. Most probably don’t even realize they’re being influenced by those assumptions.

But it doesn’t work for everyone.

I’ve always felt like there was something not quite right about the gender binary. I’ve never understood why there is one set of expectations for boys and a different one for girls. I’ve never taken kindly to the idea that I should like certain things because of the gender I was raised, nor that I should not be interested in something because it is intended for the other gender. My interests and activities are representative of both genders. I believe people of all ages can be fully equal friends regardless of gender. I am attracted to both men and women.

For years I have felt my sense of my own gender change throughout a given day, depending on my current situation. Sometimes, such as while writing, I don’t really have a sense of myself as either gender. I tend to feel very feminine when engaged in or talking about more creative pursuits, especially coordinating visual elements. I feel more masculine when engaged in analytical tasks and problem solving, especially if I am directing other people. I think these “feelings” about my gender are a reflection of cultural understandings of masculinity and femininity that I have internalized.

Similarly, when I am alone I usually do not identify with a gender. In social situations I might adopt the gender role and expression most appropriate to fit in, though I find that difficult and uncomfortable when taken to either extreme. Alternatively, I might take on the gender role needed to balance what everyone else is doing: if the people around me are being very feminine I’ll feel and possibly act more masculine, but if they’re being masculine I might feel and act more feminine.

I am uncomfortable being referred to as the gender I was assigned at birth and that people still assign to me based on physical appearance, especially when that influences my behavior and/or how they treat me. It can have a negative effect on our ability to experience a genuine human connection as equals. I am also annoyed with having to disclose my “sex” in order to do register for services online or send emails to representatives in government. Why should I have to disclose information about my anatomy in order to express my opinions or use services on a website? (or do pretty much anything else?)

For the longest time I thought my experience was unique, until I learned the terms “gender queer” and “gender fluid.” The very existence of those terms means that I am not alone!

Writing for Change

I’m still processing what I learned about gender, society, and myself through the courses that I took this past semester. I hope that by focusing on gender during the month of January, I can solidify my understanding of the issues surrounding gender and my own gender identity. This includes how my gendered upbringing affects my ability to cope with difficult situations, express my emotions, and solve interpersonal problems. It also includes working through my emotional responses to cultural messages about the gender binary, now that I am more aware of them and even less willing to accept them.

Reader, I also hope you will contribute your knowledge, ideas, and experience to an informative discussion about gender and associated issues by commenting. All genders, etc. welcome. The more different perspectives can be included, the better understanding can be gained by all.

Come back later for my next post, Challenging Cultural Assumptions About Sex and Gender, in which I’ll share information that refutes some of the assumptions listed near the beginning of this post. I’ll have a few days each week of January that are dedicated to the gender bender theme: Feminine Fridays will start on January 4th, followed by Masculine Mondays on January 7th and Transgender Tuesdays on January 8th. I might post about my experiences living with depression (or whatever else meets my fancy) on other days of the week.

Happy New Year! and happy bending …