Run, Bernie, Run (all the way to the White House)

I recently posted about why I’ve joined the “Bernie or Bust” movement – why I will not compromise regarding my vote for U.S. President. A lot of people say it’s important for Democrats and people who lean Democrat to unite behind the nominee – regardless of who it is – in order to avoid a Trump presidency. The concern about what could happen if Trump were to become president is valid, but I don’t want to be dictated by fear, or to vote for the “lesser of two evils.” And frankly, a lot of polls have been consistently showing that Bernie is the Democratic candidate who has the best chances of winning the general election (Bernie has +13.4 chance vs Hillary’s +6.5).

a chart with a blue line representing Bernie Sanders' poll results above a red line representing Trump's

chart from RealClearPolitics.com showing Bernie’s considerable lead over Trump in polls since January 1, 2016

 

a chart with a blue line representing Hillary Clinton's poll results above a red line representing Trump's

chart from RealClearPolitics.com showing Hillary’s less impressive lead over Trump in polls since January 1, 2016

I’ve been saying for a while now that those of us who support not only Bernie but the political revolution, who want our government to be truly for and by the people, need to unite and vote for him in November – regardless of whether he is the Democratic nominee. In my post (link above) I asked readers to email an individual who is building a campaign for Bernie to run as an Independent, should the need arise. (Our first goal, of course, is for him to win the Democratic primary.)

an image of Bernie Sanders with a blue background and the text "Petition Bernie to run as Inependent"

a screenshot of the 4Berni.com website

Well, it took less than 2 weeks for the movement to gain over 2000 supporters! We now have our own website – 4Berni.com – which features a petition for him to run as an Independent if necessary. Our goal is to reach 2 million signatures in time to deliver the petition at the Democratic Convention in June.

If you’re a Bernie supporter, if you need access to healthcare, if you are not a multi-millionaire, if you are a member of a group that is regularly discriminated against, if you have student debt, if you want our planet to remain hospitable to human and other life, if you want people’s well-being to be prioritized over profits, etc. Please get involved in Bernie’s (official) campaign (for the Democratic nomination). Please commit to voting for him – in your state’s caucus or primary if you haven’t already, and in the general election on November 8th. (Visit CanIvote.org for information about your voter status, how to register, and how to vote.)

Please also sign the petition for Bernie Sanders to run as an Independent if he is not chosen as the Democratic nominee.

An image of a form including text boxes requesting one's email address, first and last name, zip code, and information about willingness to volunteer. Below the text boxes is a check box to receive updates and the submit button.

an image of the petition form on 4Berni.com

The form to sign the petition includes a space where you can describe the level of involvement you want to have in building a campaign for Bernie to WIN the presidency as an Independent candidate. It automatically registers petition signers to receive updates via email, but you can opt out by un-checking the box. This is an independent petition not linked to any of the popular online petition sites.

I think, if it’s ever been likely for a 3rd-party candidate to win an election, this is it. Bernie is the only candidate with a positive favorability rating. He’s “YUGE”-ly popular with non-affiliated and young voters. He’s been drawing massive crowds at rallies, inspiring marches, people have even made murals of him. He’s the person who has really made this campaign about the issues that are important to everyday Americans from day one. He is running a successful grassroots campaign that is entirely dependent on individual donations, and he has inspired record voter turnout.

He is also the only candidate who has outright stated that mental healthcare should be easily accessible for everyone.

So, yeah. Bernie or Bust! Are you in?

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Oh! How It Burns! (depression checklist)

I have now been tracking my scores on the Burns Depression Checklist for four months straight! Go me!
(July-August, August-September, September-October)

This month, my average score was 18. My scores for more than half the days were in the teens (the low end of mild depression); I had an unprecedented 5 days when my score dropped below 10, into the “normal but unhappy” range. To put things in perspective, my usual level of functioning is mild-to-moderate depression; “normal but unhappy” days are the best days of my life! This month’s scores are a huge improvement over previous months (linked above), when I was moderately depressed on most days.

Ziya's scores on the Burns Depression Checklist from October 17, 2014 to November 18, 2014.

Ziya’s scores on the Burns Depression Checklist from October 17, 2014 to November 18, 2014.

Ziya's (standardized) scores on the subcategories of the Burns Depression Checklist from October 17 to November 18, 2014. The subcategories are Thoughts and Feelings (blue), Activities and Relationships (red), Physical Symptoms (green), and Suicidal Urges (purple).

Ziya’s (standardized) scores on the subcategories of the Burns Depression Checklist from October 17 to November 18, 2014. The subcategories are Thoughts and Feelings (blue), Activities and Relationships (red), Physical Symptoms (green), and Suicidal Urges (purple). I only had suicidal urges (mostly just thoughts) on 6 days this month!

The Lamictal / lamotrigine I’m taking definitely seems to be helping. I’ve consistently taken it around 4:00pm every day, starting September 29th. My dose doubled from 25 mg to 50 mg on October 27th (purple vertical line). I’m very pleased with the benefits I’ve been receiving from it and especially the lack of side effects. It also seems to be helping with my anxiety symptoms, and I feel less irritable (though to be honest I haven’t been tracking those symptoms).

There are definitely environmental / situational factors that influence my depression symptoms (not to be confused with situational depression). For example, on Election Day (red vertical line) my score shot up from below 20 to 43 and I experienced my first suicidal urges in 2 weeks. To be honest, I think that’s the only sane response to the new Congress that – among other things – has vowed to repeal the reason I can afford medication! I don’t want to know what else they plan to do, but none of it is good for the vast majority of the people in this country.

There was also my and Fox’s big family wedding on November 9th (green vertical line). I felt really good leading up to that day and had a ton of important things to do. I got to be creative and problem solve and collaborate with Mom and get my hair done at a salon full of awesome people I enjoy talking to and wear a gorgeous dress and be congratulated about a million times. Sure, there were some aspects of it that were stressful, but a lot of it was fun. I was proud of myself for running the rehearsal on the night before as well as I did. I got to forget about all the stress at the combined bachelor/bachelorette party our friends threw for us; that was a fabulous time! And then there was the day itself… I’ve already written about it twice!

My scores on the depression checklist increased gradually from 6 on the 8th and 9th (OMG, 2 consecutive days with such a low score! That’s heaven for me!) to 34 on Monday (eww). I felt every point of increase and it was incredibly painful. I didn’t have the energy to connect with Fox and I’d cry when he left for work each day. I’d cry for no obvious reason. I had no motivation. I just wanted to fade away and stop existing. The worst part is I knew that if I stopped playing The Sims 3 and went out to socialize I’d feel better. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it!

Finally, yesterday (Tuesday) I dragged myself out of bed to go see Wakana for our regularly-scheduled music therapy session. Just being able to do that felt awesome. She witnessed me expressing how I felt through words, body language, and music. She empathized. She helped me address some of the things that are really getting me down. For example, Mom had brought up how much it costs each month to see Wakana, with the very strong implication that I should stop draining her of that money. She doesn’t seem to get how much I need and benefit from it, and I feel like that matters less to her than “getting ahead” financially. Sometimes it seems like she sees my whole life as a financial transaction; she’s “investing” in me and losing all her money. I can’t repay her – at least not financially. My love, the joy in my life from experiences like getting married and having children someday, whatever academic success I can muster, even the financial security I’m still striving for … these things cannot be a repayment of some debt! I owe her my whole life, but I can’t live it for her. I have to live it for me.

Wakana heard and understood and strongly encouraged me to apply for jobs. She also said I could invite Mom to one of our sessions. I’m kind of dreading it – assuming I can convince her to come – but I think it may be necessary.

Jobs. I signed up to be a tutor, which is kind of hit or miss depending on whether students decide to contact me. I think I’d be okay in the subjects I said I could teach. Today I was going to apply for a job I found yesterday that sounded awesome, but when I went to look at it the listing had been deleted. That undermined any motivation I had to do useful things.

Anyway, I decided to hang out at a nearby cafe after my session yesterday and enjoyed myself quite a bit (including saving potential job listings to apply for later). The food and drinks were good, it was a pleasant atmosphere, it got me out of the house and away from The Sims 3, and best of all I got to socialize a little bit. Even just being surrounded by people who were all doing their own thing was energizing. I’m still coming to grips with this whole being an extrovert thing. I like being around people. I need to stop isolating!

But how?

Vote Like Your Life Depends on It

For anyone who thinks the major parties are the same, congressional elections aren’t important, or their vote doesn’t matter, please remember the government shutdown that happened last year and cost us $24,000,000,000. It happened because the Republican Speaker of the House chose not to vote on the federal budget in an attempt to undermine the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, or “Obamacare” – which, by the way, is the reason I have health insurance and can afford the medication that seems to be helping me change my life.

One person should not have that much power, but for the time being we need to ensure that person isn’t in the pocket of right-wing extremists who exist to do the bidding of the ludicrously wealthy at the expense of everyone else. They would rather allow people to starve to death or commit suicide than risk losing a small portion of their profits. (Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in Americans.)

The only way we can have a federal government that comes remotely close to representing us is to get a Democratic majority in the House, and the only way to do that is for those of us who can vote to do so – wisely.

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Here’s the relevant part of my post from last year about the shutdown:

I’ve been having a really hard time lately and there’s no end in sight. Sometimes I feel so hopeless, it’s painful to keep breathing.

This government shutdown orchestrated by a small handful of right-wing extremists who somehow managed to take control of the House is such a huge, overwhelming problem. I know one person who works for the government who has been extremely stressed out, and another person who just lost their job – I suspect at least partially due to the shutdown. I’m concerned for them, and for the hundreds of thousands of people out of work, and for the millions of people who won’t receive the assistance they need for Zek knows how long. The impact on the economy is devastating, and more importantly people could die as a result of this.

It completely and utterly infuriates me that the Republicans won’t even acknowledge that they played a role in the shutdown, never mind taking responsibility. […] All we need is for the House to vote on one bill that’s been sitting on Boehner’s desk, but that he refuses to call a vote on. I don’t even understand how or why the Speaker of the House – one person – has that kind of power. I thought our government was set up to prevent one person from ever having that much power.

We can petition them all we want but it’s like they live in a different universe. […] I think the only solution is for the American people to somehow take direct control of the House – at the very least, force them to vote on the bill that would provide funding to the departments that have been shut down (without removing access to birth control or delaying implementation of the Affordable Care Act / Obamacare for a year, thanks). At least then we’d have some semblance of transparency, a record of who voted to keep this country afloat and who voted against us all.

So far I’ve learned of one way to bypass Boehner and force a vote on the clean funding bill: the discharge petition House Democrats have been pursuing. I encourage readers (especially those in the U.S.) to sign this petition urging House Republicans to join their colleagues in ending the shutdown. Also please consider contacting your representative directly (House.gov). I know I just wrote that petitioning them doesn’t do anything, but I don’t really see any other course of action. People know that the Republicans are responsible; there are several races for Republican seats in the House where polls show the Democrats to have an advantage.

(But only if the people who support them vote!)

And here’s part of another post I wrote around that time, Running Red:

I read an article that said the Tea Party is actually pleased with Boehner and that this shutdown is part of his career strategy. That’s right folks, starving mothers and babies, survivors of rape and domestic violence put out on the street, head start programs ground to a halt, hundreds of thousands of people without work or pay, parks and monuments closed, a lapse in veterans’ benefits, etc. etc. etc. … merely the pawns in Boehner’s game of chess. If he’s winning, he’s not going to listen to our petitions – unless perhaps there is a massive outcry by the people in his district, who can vote for his opponent in the next (this!) election. Without their votes, all the support and campaign funds from his party will be nothing.

So please, please vote today, if you haven’t already. If you’re inclined to vote Republican, please look up what your candidate and other Republicans have been doing and think critically about whether they actually represent you, your needs, and the rest of us who aren’t bazillionaires in terms of the practical, this-world decisions they’ve made and the consequences of their actions (or inaction). If you’re inclined to vote Democrat, please stop reading this right now and go vote!

Additional Voter Resources at Vote411.org

Voter Lookup

Here’s the WordPress tool for looking up information about where to vote on or before election day: Tuesday, November 4th. I plan to vote at my local polling center that morning.

2014 Midterm Elections, Get Out The Vote!

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