I drove for 5 hours to visit Banji, then realized I was due to menstruate soon – but I had forgotten my menstrual cup at home. I have to use tampons for the first time in years, and I’m not happy about it. I’ll admit I’m not in love with my cup or menstruating in general: my cramps are mild but can still be annoying, and emptying the cup can get a bit messy. I’ll be the first to admit that menstrual cups are not for everyone. But I’d gotten used to mine; using tampons again is just weird.
For anyone who doesn’t know, a menstrual cup is a small, flexible, medical-grade silicone cup that one inserts into one’s vagina to collect menstrual fluids. Five huge advantages of a cup over tampons are:
1. The cup only needs to be emptied once every 12 hours (as opposed to every 8)
2. Menstrual cup use is NOT associated with Toxic Shock Syndrome
3. It is reusable, and therefore better for the environment
4. It is reusable, and therefore saves one money
5. It is safe to insert before menstruation begins, protecting clothes from stains
There is an added advantage I hadn’t really thought about until I was forced to use tampons again: a menstrual cup allows one to be more in touch with one’s body. I’m finding the plastic applicator and convenient pull string of the tampons to be just a little bit too sanitary. All this pushing and pulling and fibers rubbing against my mucus membranes just doesn’t feel right; the silicone cup was much gentler. I actually kind of miss getting some blood on my hands, seeing how much had collected, even smelling it. I miss using the muscles around my vagina to push the cup out just far enough to grab the bottom with my fingers. It was a process; I had to be slow, gentle, and deliberate. I had to feel and respond. I had to touch myself *gasp* down there!
I’m finding that, for me, staying clean is not the be all and end all of this part of my cycle. It’s important, especially because I still need to participate fully in society. But it’s not enough on its own, not for me.
Menstruation is a potent, messy reminder of my creative potential – both biologically speaking and otherwise. My ability to create, nourish, and nurture a new life. That raw, primal power that rushes through my veins, filling every part of me. My connection with the generative forces of the Universe. The Muse that guides my artistic endeavors. It is an inescapable part of being alive. I want the product I use to reflect my acceptance of it.
I want to take this time – when I’m continually reminded of it by cramps, cravings, and an added process in the restroom anyway – to honor this sacred cycle, without which humans would cease to exist. I send positive energy to all people who menstruate, will menstruate, or have ever menstruated. May you be safe, healthy, and free to use (or not use) your creative energies as you see fit.
Blessed be.
a day with depression 