I thought I had the answer: I would take a 3-credit course, in part out of interest and in part because it would make me eligible for my school’s “voluntary” part-time student insurance. But today I learned that there are no longer any part-time student plans available – whether that’s because my school dropped them, or the insurance company stopped offering them, I don’t know. I just know that I was very confused and frustrated when one part of the site still said I could opt-in to the voluntary insurance, but when I clicked the link it said no plans were available.
I’ve reluctantly accepted that they’re not offering insurance to part-time students, based on the mail-in forms having last year’s dates. They just didn’t bother to update the whole website. Lazy bums. (Acceptance doesn’t make me any less angry. It just saves me the trouble of trying the same thing over and over again just to be repeatedly disappointed by the results.)
I’m disinclined to trust the $400/month short-term insurance plan offered by an affiliate of my school’s insurance company. The very nice representative I’d talked to called back, reminding me to apply in time for coverage to start on the date I’d requested. She also re-sent the information she’d initially sent me. I’m tempted to call her back and thank her for her help. But the attached PDF clearly stated that prescriptions weren’t covered; when I tried to see if other plans were available, the one she’d recommended disappeared, so there were no plans available at all! I know I can call her back and ask questions, but I don’t want to risk wasting money (that I don’t really have) if the information she gives me turns out to be wrong.
In light of all this, paying nearly $2,000 to take a class purely out of interest became a lot less appealing – especially since a similar one might be offered for free on Coursera. I started listening to the lectures for one of my Coursera courses last night and found them to be positively fascinating. It felt so good to just soak in the information. No deciding what to wear, traveling, finding parking, potentially being late, awkward social situations, and consequences for not doing assignments required. So, I’ve decided to drop the 3-credit course I’d registered for at my school, and go the continuous matriculation route. A relatively small fee means I’m still a graduate student, really!
That still leaves the matter of health insurance.
I’ve decided against going to see a psychiatrist for the time being. The SAM-e (along with other factors) seems to be helping quite a bit, especially on days when I remember to take 2 doses of it (400 mg 2x/day, total 800 mg per day). It’s not perfect, but it’s at least as good as the antidepressants I’ve tried so far, with less adverse side effects (maybe because it doesn’t contain weird, unnatural chemicals?). It’s not exactly cheap, but I think I’m saving money over seeing a psychiatrist and paying for medication, especially if I need brand-name instead of generic. I can buy the SAM-e in 3 clicks and have it shipped to my front door – no phone tag, traveling, disclosing personal information to a stranger, and waiting at the pharmacy required. It might not be the best, but it works better for me right now. I can’t help wishing I’d found out about it years ago.
Health insurance suddenly seems a lot less important if it’s not the only way I can afford to treat my depression. Wakana doesn’t take insurance; I’ve been paying her at a discounted rate out-of-pocket. Insurance wouldn’t cover the SAM-e anyway. Hospitals are required to give life-saving care regardless of whether you have insurance. The only thing left is preventative care, which I’m hoping I can find a clinic for nearby. To my knowledge my state isn’t among the insane ones trying to shut down Planned Parenthood, so I intend to begin my search there.
(In case it’s not blatantly obvious, I hate going to see doctors. So, for most things, I wouldn’t bother seeing a doctor. If I’m miserable with a cold or something, I’d rather be miserable at home where I have access to things that help – like tea and soup – instead of at the doctor’s office.)
And in October I should be able to shop for an insurance plan on Healthcare.gov, so hopefully I’ll only lack health insurance until January. Hopefully.
Let’s be honest, I hate making these decisions. But this is the hand I’ve been dealt, and I need to do (or choose not to do) whatever it takes to protect my mental health. I’ve been burned by conventional medicine and the insurance required to make it remotely affordable, so I’m finding alternative ways to take care of myself.
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