Crossroads

I’ve been playing phone tag with Psychiatrist C-1 for over a week now. He said, “I’m unlikely to answer when you call because I’m with clients all the time, so let me know when’s a good time for me to call you.” So, I gave him a few hours today, which I spent within arms reach of the phone. Nada. He couldn’t take 5 minutes between clients to call and make an appointment.

Now I’m at a crossroads. I have a strongly-worded voicemail prepared in my head, which includes the following:

Are you even taking new clients? If not, please let me know. In fact, please find a colleague who is taking new clients and have them call me. If so, call me back with a day and time to meet next week, and I’ll be there.

Yeah, I’m pissed. Dunno how much it comes through in the typed version of the words, but if I spoke them aloud, you could tell that I’m pissed.

I’m glad I’m pissed. The anger gives me energy. So much better than sleeping all day.

The thought occurs that this is a really crummy way to start a new therapeutic relationship. I’m already resistant to going to see a psychiatrist, if I’m angry with him I’m more likely to do stupid things like not show up for appointments, or not take my meds. That would be such a waste. Maybe I should call him and say:

If you couldn’t take 5 minutes between clients to call me today, then clearly you’re too busy to meet my psychiatric needs. Please have a colleague who is accepting new clients call me.

Or maybe now just isn’t the time for me to be dealing with psychiatrists. What do you think?

In other news, I decided to take a course called “feminist theory” at my school. It’s not directly related to my major, but I’m insanely curious about it. Just as if not more importantly, it keeps me matriculated with part-time status, so I can still get health insurance at a remotely-affordable rate from my school. Win!