5:00 AM: In a cruel twist of irony, I can’t sleep and the very music I listened to yesterday to give myself energy is playing itself on repeat in my head, keeping me awake.
There are other factors, too. I went to bed feeling anxious about the morning, when I’ll have to leave the house earlier than I tend to wake up in order to be on time for my appointment with Wakana. I went to bed before Fox – who was playing Oblivion – because I was tired and bored and didn’t know what else to do with myself. I felt like somehow being creative, but I couldn’t decide on an outlet so I decided to sleep.
When Fox came to bed he was very nice. I thought he fell asleep, while I had trouble getting comfortable, but he thinks I fell asleep first. I must have fallen asleep for part of the time because I have vague memories of stressful dreams somehow related to the 11th Doctor, Amy, and Rory in a parallel universe or … something. The Doctor is happy to see his friends again, but I think one of them dies and he ends up having to kill the other. Because that’s the kind of thing the Doctor really needs.
On Monday night we listened to relaxing Native American music; that really seemed to help us both fall – and stay – asleep. Last night there was no music and I definitely noticed the difference. Whether we play it while we’re falling asleep or I listen to it right before bed, I need relaxing music to help my head quit spinning. Winding down is at least as important as revving up to ensure I have enough energy.
a day with depression 